


this ain't a scene

by bloobeary



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Friends to Lovers, Harry has a cute lil southern accent, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Separation Anxiety, Use your imagination, i promise this isnt as angsty as it sounds okay, mild PTSD, no one dies im saying that right out so dont panic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4249716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloobeary/pseuds/bloobeary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis' not American but he finds himself collecting stars and stripes much more than he ever thought he would. Harry's miles away and he can't seem to think of a time he didn't feel like this. </p><p>Or, Harry goes on tour, and Louis' an army wife, but not really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this ain't a scene

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I don't know how the marine coprs works to well, so all of this is using my imagination, and pure fiction!!!!

Harry's hands are sweaty as he shoves the piece of paper he's been gripping since he left the office into his back pocket. The bag containing his uniform is killing his shoulder and all he wants is to put it down, but the thing is, he's not in his apartment yet. He's been standing outside his door for twelve minutes and thirty three seconds now, trying to figure out how to phrase it. 

Harry takes a deep breath and steels his nerves before unlocking the door and walking in. He drops his bag by the door and shuts the door behind him with his foot before walking into the kitchen to find Louis leaning against the fridge, watching the stove. "Making dinner, are we?" Harry asks, chuckling to himself as he puts his chin on Louis' shoulder.

He only jumps a little. "No, just tea." Louis says, patting at Harry's cheek twice. 

"Ah yes, so very English of you." Harry teases, blowing a raspberry against Louis' neck, making him squeal and push him off. "Y'know you're losing your accent." Harry says playfully as he opens the cabinet and grabbing two mugs. 

Louis gasps and Harry feels him kick his shin softly. "It's because I hang around wannabe cowboys like you all the time." 

It's Harry's turn to be offended. "Excuse me?"

Louis smirks and turns his nose up at Harry, crossing his arms again. "You heard me, Styles. With your 'howdy ma'am' load of rubbish." Louis says it with a terrible southern accent, and it doesn't take much for Harry to have him pressed against the fridge, hands tight around his waist. 

The air changes right then, getting unexpectedly heavier as Louis gasps a little and bites his lip. "I do not talk like that." Harry says finally, digging his fingers into Louis' sides, making him giggle. It lightens the mood, but only a little, since Harry has to actually, you know, tell him.

Harry ignores Louis' protests as he picks him up easily, Louis' legs going around his hips naturally, and holding him close before dropping him on the couch and going right back to tickling him. "Harold!" Louis shrieks, his face turning red and tears building in the corners of his eyes as Harry doesn't relent. "P-lease," Louis begs, his voice coming up choppy and breathless, and oh. Harry stops, but stays above Louis, his elbows on either side of his face.

"I enlisted." Harry whispers, and Louis looks up at him blankly.

"What do you mean?" He asks, tilting his head to one side. His chest is still heaving from before, and god, how badly Harry wants to kiss him breathless. But it's not like that, it's never been.

Harry takes a breath and sits up, pulling Louis' foot into his lap, running his thumb over his ankle. (How can ankles be so cute?) "I enlisted. In the navy." 

It hangs in the air until the kettle is whistling, and Louis' pulling his foot out of Harry's hands to go take it off. Harry sighs and puts his face in his hands. It's not that he did it against his will, quite the opposite actually. It's just that Louis'...special. He's miles past special. 

Harry stands up and walks to the kitchen, where he finds Louis stirring sugar into his tea furiously. "Did you hear me?" Harry asks, leaning against the doorframe. He can see Louis' shoulders tense, and then relax as he takes a sip of his tea. 

"Yes," Louis says softly, but doesn't turn around. Harry sighs and walks over to him, taking the cup out of his hands and pulling him into his chest. They stand like that for a bit, neither of them breathing, until Louis' shoulders are shaking in what Harry knows are silent sobs, and he can feel his heart breaking. 

"Lou," Harry coos, burying his nose into Louis' mousy hair.

"Don't 'Lou' me." Louis says wetly, pressing his cheek against Harry's chest, pushing him closer. "I can't fucking believe you." 

Harry sighs, because he knew it was coming before he even signed the papers. "It's what I've always wanted, Lou, to serve my country. You know, protect the land of the free."

Louis laughs a little, but doesn't move. "You're an idiot. Damn it, Harry, I swear to god, if you get yourself killed I'll never forgive you." Louis mumbles, and Harry smiles a little.

"I'll be okay." 

"Promise?" Louis asks, looking up at Harry with red rimmed eyes, and Harry feels his heart clench.

He hesitates, but it feels like Louis' hanging on his answer. "Yes," 

Louis just nods, and tucks his face into the dip of Harry's collarbones. "When do you, uh, leave?" 

"We ship out for basic in four days." Harry says softly, and that's all it takes for Louis to shove him away again. 

"Four days? Are you fucking kidding me?" Louis yells, throwing his hands up and stalking out of the kitchen. "'Ship out' like you're a bunch of fucking products to go on a shelf." Louis mutters darkly as he paces around the living room. "I thought it would've been at least a month, you know? Then I would've like, had time to process the fact that you're fucking going to war, Harry." Louis growls, giving Harry a pained look before sighing and sitting on the coffee table. 

"Four days is nothing." Louis whispers, and Harry almost doesn't catch it. But he does, and he's kneeling by Louis in a matter of seconds. 

"I know. It surprised me too, but." Harry says, rubbing circles into Louis' knee with his thumb softly. 

"But you want to go." Louis says bitterly, pushing Harry's hand off and walking to his room. Harry cringes when he hears the door lock. They don't do that, ever.

Harry knows how stubborn Louis is, so he doesn't pry. He just stands up and retrieves his bag to go hang up his uniform. 

 

Radio silence continues for two more days, until finally, _finally _, Louis pads out of his room while Harry's waiting for the microwave to heat up the leftover chinese, and latches on to him, his cheek warm on Harry's back. "Hi," Louis mumbles softly, and Harry breathes for the first time in days.__

"Hey," Harry says, turning around to hold Louis against his chest. He's wearing Harry's hoodie, the one that says _modern life is rubbish _("It has an english term on it, so it would be rude for you not to let me wear it, Hazza."), and no pants, as far as Harry can tell. "Was beginning to think you weren't going to talk to me until I left." Harry says shakily, feeling tears prick at his eyes.__

Louis just shakes his head and hugs Harry tighter. "I'm sorry," He manages, and looks up at Harry. It looks like he hasn't slept at all, and Harry understands. "I just. It was a lot to take in, you know?" 

"I know," Harry says, nodding and putting a hand on Louis' face. "Please don't do that again, though." 

"Never," Louis breathes, and they just look at each other. The microwave beeps at them for the third time when Louis looks away. "Your food's ready."

"Not hungry." Harry returns, given that it's already past dinner time. Harry's perception of time has been a little off, since Louis hasn't begged for breakfast, or lunch, for the past couple of days. 

"Okay," Louis says, sniffing and leaning back into Harry's chest. 

"Sleep with me?" Harry asks, and Louis makes a little surprised noise. "No! Not like--I, uh. Like, in my bed. With me." Harry stutters, his tongue going stiff in his mouth. 

Louis laughs, his eyes crinkling around the edges in the way that makes Harry's chest hurt. "It's not like it'll be the first time." Louis says, still giggly, and pokes at Harry's cheek. He just smiles and kisses Louis' forehead before pulling him into his room. 

The room feels laden as Louis curls into Harry's chest, so that his lips brush right over his heart. It's not the first time, but it might be the last, Louis thinks as his mind goes black. 

-

"Write to me?" Harry asks, his voice hushed as he talks directly into Louis' ear. 

"Of course, yeah." Louis says, giving Harry one last squeeze before letting him go, reluctantly. He wipes at his eyes before anyone can see that he's crying, though he's pretty sure Anne and Gemma know. 

Harry hugs them again, tells them he loves them before fixing the straps on his bag and looking directly at Louis. "Take care of yourself," Louis says, reaching out to run his fingers over the _STYLES _stitched into his lapel. "As I might miss you."__

"Always do." Harry says softly, and they share a last look before he turns around and walks through security. Louis watches until he can't see him anymore, and it feels like his body's being torn in half. He has lunch with Harry's family, enjoying their company for a while before going home and curling up in Harry's bed, and crying until his eyes feel raw.

-

Dear Harold,  
I hope basic training's not kicking your arse too much.  
I miss you,  
-Louis x

*

Dear Harry,  
It feels like you've been gone for years, but it's only been a month. It's a wonder I'm surviving, given that you're not around to cook for me. But I am. Please keep being safe, and you better come home in one piece. I'm sure they've written too, but Gemma and Anne are doing well. I saw them a few days ago. We miss you.  
I miss you.  
-Louis x

*  
Dear Hazza,  
I imagine you're either too busy to answer, or they're not letting you read your post while still in basic training, and that's okay. I miss you a lot. I saw Niall today, and we hung out for a little, but I still feel like a piece is missing. (You). I know it's useless but come home soon?  
I miss you more every day,  
-Louis xx

Harry's read the letters three times over now, and he doesn't know he's smiling until someone throws a bundle of socks at him. 

"Get that smile off your ugly mug, Styles!" Alex yells, laughing to himself as Harry frowns and pelts the socks back at him. 

"You're just jealous because you didn't get any letters, dickhead." Harry mutters, running his fingers over Louis' handwriting before folding them up and tucking them back into one large envelope. 

Alex rolls his eyes. "I'm a lone wolf. Ain't got no girl tyin' me down." He says it proudly, and locks his fingers behind his head.

"Neither do I, dumbass." Harry laughs, standing up to stretch his back. 

"I promise ya, nothing your momma says is that sweet." Harry just rolls his eyes and ignores Alex, walking out of the barracks to see if he can find anything to do in the few hours he has to himself. 

They get their destination two days later, and it's so far away that Harry has to close his eyes. 

Dear Louis,  
We found out where we're going to be stationed for the next six months. I can't tell you yet, all I can say is that it's far, and it's dry. I miss you too, a lot, especially on days like this where all I want to do is watch movies with you. Remember that you can ask my mom for cooking tips, you big baby. I'm not going to be able to come home before we ship out, so I guess this is goodbye, for now.  
All my love,  
-H 

-

It's the Fourth of July and Harry's been gone for six months, including basic. Louis doesn't spend it alone, no. There's a get together at the Styles household, and of course, Louis spends it there. It's nice, but bittersweet at the same time, since the year prior, Louis had spent it with Harry, sitting on the roof of their building drinking beers as fireworks went off. Louis shouldn't even be celebrating this holiday given that he's not American, but it seems fitting, since Harry's off in who knows where to keep the freedom. (Or something like that)

He doesn't know how he ended up with a bandana around his neck colored like the American flag, but there it is. He sits with Niall as the fireworks start, and he only cries a little.

"What's wrong?" Niall asks, yelling above the fireworks. Louis just shakes his head and wipes at his eyes. "Oh, yeah." Niall mumbles, looking at his hands before throwing an arm around Louis' shoulders and giving his bicep a few pats. "He'll be home for the next one."

But Louis doesn't want to wait another year. He wants Harry back right now.

-

It's eleven in the morning, Harry's time, when he gets granted Skype privileges. His fingers are shaking as he signs in, and looks for Louis' name, letting out a sigh of relief when he sees he's online. His body is electrified with anticipation as he listens to the ringing. It rings twice, and then Louis' face is on the screen, and Harry wants to cry.

"Hazza!" Louis says, breaking out into a smile.

"Hey, Lou." Harry says, matching his smile. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I miss you. How are you?" Louis says, all too fast and shaky.

"I'm doin' good." Harry says after a few beats, looking around the desert camp they're set up in. "Been quiet for a while now."

"That's good." Louis says, nodding, before yawning. "What time's it over there?" Louis mumbles, rubbing an eye.

"About half past eleven." Harry says, checking his watch. "Ah right, you're behind."

"'Bout nine hours or so." Louis says, and Harry can just now tell that he's on his phone, since suddenly Louis' on his side. "I'm just tired. I don't, ah, I don't sleep well without you here most nights."

Harry frowns and is about to say something when his superior claps a hand on his shoulder. "There's an insurgence about two clicks north of here. We move out in three." He says, and Harry nods quickly before turning back to the laptop.

"I gotta go, Lou."

"What's going on, H?" Louis asks, panic rising in his voice.

Harry just shakes his head and stands up, reaching for his vest. "Nothing major. Tell my mom and Gem that I love them okay?"

"Be safe, promise me." Louis says shakily, and Harry takes a breath.

"I'll see you," He says, and shuts the laptop closed.

The screen goes black, and Louis barely makes it to the toilet before throwing up his lunch.

-

Harry's not going to be home for Christmas. Or at least, that's what everyone thought.

Louis' sitting in the Styles' living room with his knees drawn up to his chest, petting the cat asleep next to him softly as christmas carols fill the ambiance. He can't help but to feel a little hollow without Harry singing along to them, but he's okay. The fact that it's also his birthday stings a little extra, but there's nothing he can do about it, so he just sits, and listens.

"Lou, can you come into the kitchen, please?" Anne calls her voice shaking a little, but not enough for Louis to notice it right off the bat.

"Coming!" Louis says, standing up, feeling his knees pop as he does so, and padding into the kitchen.

And, oh. _Oh. ___

Harry's standing in his kitchen, still in uniform, and Louis can't see straight.

He wants to say he doesn't run, but he does, he sprints the ten feet between them and jumps on him, arms wrapped right around his neck. Louis can't say anything, not yet, because he's crying hard enough not to be able to breathe as he feels Harry hook an arm under his thigh, and leave the other around his waist.

Louis doesn't know how long they stay like that. But he can breathe when his feet are touching the ground again. "Hi," Louis says, his voice coming out wet.

Harry smiles, and everything feels right in the world. "Hey," He says is softly, and it feels like they're the only people in the room (it's always been like that).

"I thought you weren't gonna be home?" Louis whispers, grabbing Harry's face with both hands, checking is that he is in fact there and not a production of Louis' sleep deprived mind. Harry looks wildly different, is the thing, his hair having been undoubtedly buzzed off months ago, and he's tanner, and there's something about his shoulders that don't fall quite the same way as before. But his eyes still hold the same light they always did, and that's enough.

"Gotta have a little fun, don't I?" Harry laughs, and Louis rolls his eyes before pulling himself back into Harry's arms.

"I missed you, you tosser." Louis mumbles, and Harry smiles against the top of his head.

"Missed you too,"

Gemma claps once, cutting the mood straight through, and Louis only glares at her a little. "Dinner! Now, let's go, come on." She says, tucking an arm around Harry's middle as she ushers him to the dining room.

Louis thinks this is the happiest Christmas he's had to date.

They stay the night, and Anne only gives them a smile as Louis ignores the guest room and goes straight for Harry's.

"Lou," Harry breathes, smiling at him as he shuts the door behind him. "Come 'ere." Harry says, and he doesn't even have time to open his arms before Louis' in them again. "Sorry I couldn't get you anything for your birthday. Kandahar isn't really a place to shop." Harry laughs a little, smoothing his hand down Louis' back. "And I think you're worth more than something from the airport."

"I have you. That's enough." Louis mumbles, rubbing his cheek against the soft cotton of Harry's undershirt.

Harry smiles and pries Louis away much to both of their dislike. "I have to shower, okay? I still feel gross from the flight." Harry says, and Louis nods, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Louis' already under the covers when Harry gets out. He makes next to no noise as he puts his stuff away and gets under the covers. He's flat on his back, and he jumps when Louis reaches out to touch him. "Sorry," Harry mumbles, rolling onto his side and looking into Louis' eyes. God, he's missed those.

"S'alright." Louis says, reaching out to run his fingers over Harry's arm and shoulder softly. He trails them up his collarbone and neck, over his jaw and finally in his hair. It's just long enough to be a little curly again. "When?" Louis whispers, and Harry sighs.

"The eighth." It hangs in the air for a bit, until Louis nods, and turns away from Harry.

"M'cold." Louis pouts, and Harry smiles before moving closer and pulling Louis in, so his back fits along Harry's chest. Louis falls asleep as soon as his eyes close for the first time in what feels like forever.

There's an arm over Harry's chest when he wakes up, and he sits up and rolls so fast he falls onto the floor with a loud thump. "Fuck," Harry groans, rubbing his head where it hit the edge of his bedside table. He sees Louis' head pop up, hair still mussed from sleeping, and give him a bleary smile.

"S'a miracle you were ever accepted, clumsy thing like you." Louis chuckles, smiling at Harry one more time before putting his head back down. Harry just shakes his head and stands up carefully. He stretches his arms above his head and finds sweats before going downstairs.

"Harry," Louis says as he's halfway out the door, and Harry turns to look at him curiously. "It's four thirty in the morning." Louis deadpans, and Harry laughs at himself.

"Sorry, I'm just used to it." He says, closing the door and lying on the bed again, not bothering to get under the covers. He knows he's not going to get any sleep.

Louis just shakes his head and grabs Harry's hand, pulling his arm over his hips again. And Harry just smiles, because he's home.

-

It's New Year's, and there's a party, because Louis be damned if he didn't throw one in honor of his best friend being home.

So Louis' only a little tipsy when he finds Harry, talking to Niall with a warm bottle of beer between his hands. "Babe," Louis drawls, hooking an arm around his waist and nuzzling into Harry's chest. "It's almost twelve! We need to watch the uh, the thing." Louis says, momentarily losing the word for it.

"The ball drop?" Harry supplies, and Louis smiles up at him.

"Yeah!" Louis laughs, rolling his eyes. "Let's go!"

Niall laughs at them as Louis pulls Harry to their living room to stand behind the couch and watch the TV.

_Ten ___

Louis looks up at Harry, whose eyes are wide as he watches the Tv.

_Nine ___

Harry looks down at Louis, and smiles.

_Eight ___

Louis smiles back, and fits his thumb into Harry's belt loop.

_Seven ___

Harry rubs Louis' collarbone with his thumb.

_Six ___

Louis wants to kiss him.

_Five ___

God, Louis wants to kiss him.

_Four ___

They're looking at each other now.

_Three_

Harry's lost the ability to think of a time when anything other than Louis mattered.

_Two_

Harry leans in closer, and Louis can't breathe.

_One_

The word hasn't quite left Louis' lips yet, because it's catching on Harry's as he closes the distance between them, a hand tight on the back of Louis' neck as they kiss. And Louis has never, _never _, felt anything quite like it.__

 _ _"Happy New Year." Harry says once he's pulled away, running his thumb over Louis' jaw softly.__

 _ _

Louis smiles and bumps his nose against Harry's neck. "Yeah, Haz, happy New Year."

Everything is good, everything is _perfect _, until the fireworks start. It's like time hangs still when the sound reaches Harry, his eyes widening, shoulders tensing, and there's the sound of glass shattering from his forgotten beer as his hands search uselessly for something that should be hanging against his side.__

"Harry?" Louis says, his voice coated in panic as he watches Harry turn to face him. And it's not the same Harry that was looking at him seconds prior. There's a fear behind the green eyes he loves so much that's never been there before, and it sends chills down Louis' spine.

"I--" Harry starts, but there's the another burst, and he jumps again before giving Louis a pained glance and running into his room.

The room is quiet for a few seconds as they all stare at the shut door. Then the screaming starts, and that's _it _.__

"Everybody out!" Louis yells, stepping over the glass on the floor and making a beeline for the bedroom. There's a few complaints, but Louis can't bring himself to care. He runs into one of Harry's friends halfway there.

"C'mon man, it's alright! Let us stay!" He slurs, clapping a hand on Louis' shoulder.

"Get the fuck out of my flat before I call the police." Louis growls, pushing the man's hand off his shoulder, and subsequently out of his way.

Harry's still screaming, and Louis can't feel his hands as he opens the bedroom door and shuts it again, taking a breath before going over to where Harry's sitting on the bed with his hands over his ears.

"Harry, love, it's alright." Louis says gently, putting a hand on Harry's back. He doesn't miss the way he flinches away from the touch. Louis thinks for a bit before grabbing a blanket from the foot of the bed and Harry's wrist in his other hand. It should be harder than it is, dragging Harry to the closet given that he's so much bigger than Louis is (now especially, given all the added muscle).

It's considerably more quiet in the closet, and Louis chooses the farthest corner to sit down and pull Harry into his chest. And it's weird, how Harry's the one between Louis' legs, arms wrapped around him like he's the only thing keeping him safe. But Louis just pulls the blanket over both of them and puts one hand on Harry's back to smooth over it, and the other goes in his hair.

"It's okay, love, I'm here." Louis says softly, and Harry nods against his chest, sniffling a few times, his eyes still screwed shut. "I'm here."

__

Louis wakes up on the bed, with a horrible cramp in his neck. It's not until he realizes Harry's not there with him that he puts two and two together. Louis takes a breath and stretches his arms up over his head before sitting up. His shoes are off, something he does not remember doing, and it makes him smile wider.

Harry's leaning over onto the counter with his face in his hands, and Louis can see his favorite blue mug (chipped from the time Louis tried doing dishes) heating in the microwave. He would usually give him shit for making his tea the wrong way, but it doesn't seem like the moment. Louis walks up behind him and wraps his arms around Harry's waist, and the last time he did this felt so different, but the same, too.

"Hi," Harry says, his voice still sounding a little rough as he puts his hand over Louis'.

"You didn't have to do that, you know." Louis says, closing his eyes and listening to Harry's heartbeat through his back (it's faint, but it's there and it matters).

"I could say the same to you." Harry returns, turning around so that Louis' pressed against his chest instead, and now he can hear his heart racing.

"No," Louis says, shaking his head and looking up at Harry. "I couldn't just, like, leave you. No, I had to do that."

"So you get why I couldn't leave you on the floor, then." Harry says, smiling and kissing Louis' forehead. "Thank you, though. For, well, you know."

Louis nods and slides his hands under Harry's shirt, pressing his hands into his lower back. He finds the spot that always get sore and presses down gently, rubbing small circles against the tight muscle. Harry sighs and lets his head drop back a little, and his hands tighten on Louis' waist and everything feels so much heavier than it should, like the air is supercharged with unsaid words and bottled up feelings.

Louis can't take his eyes off Harry, and he catches himself gasp a little when he presses down harder, and Harry moans softly.

It's like the noise catches them both off guard, and Harry snaps back into himself. The microwave beeps--it's always the fucking microwave--and Harry clears his throat. "Uh," He starts, but Louis shakes his head.

"Let me, uh, see something." Louis stutters, stretching onto his toes and putting his hand on Harry's neck, thumbing over his jawline a few times. He can hear his own heart beating in his ears, and Harry probably can too when he leans in to brush their lips softly.

And Louis can't breathe, but it's like everything finally makes sense when Harry has them turned around, again, so Louis' sitting on the counter and his legs are around Harry's waist, and they're kissing, and nothing else matters.

"H--I," Louis starts, catching his breath for a little. They're still close enough for it to be considered a kiss, but.

"Don't." Harry whispers before kissing him again, and it only bothers Louis a little.

"Harry," Louis whines, his hands pulling at Harry's shirt desperately. And then it's like everything moves dizzyingly fast yet also in slow motion, but Louis still doesn't know how they ended up on the bed with their clothes littered around the hallway.

He's a little scared, because he's not used to wanting it like this, not used to not being the one in control. But Harry's everywhere and only in his eyes all at once, and his hand is pressed snugly against the small of Louis' back, and it feels safe. "You alright, darlin'?"

And that, well, that's like he's flipped a switch inside Louis' brain, and he's gone from then on.

His body's tingling all over, like ignited television static, but it's good. It takes more effort than it really should for him to roll over onto his side so he can look at Harry, who's propped up on one elbow, his chest still heaving, looking down at Louis with a soft smile. Louis' cheeks are freckled red, and his eyelashes are still a bit wet, but he's still gorgeous, Harry thinks (he knows).

"I l--" Louis starts, but Harry makes an aborted choking noise and cutes him off with a sloppy kiss, and Louis sighs. "Why won't you let me say it?"

Harry sighs and falls over onto his back, putting his face in his hands. "Because I know you do, you don't have to say it."

Louis scoffs, because that's the dumbest reason he's ever heard. "Yeah, okay."

"Louis, _please _it's just. If you say it now, I don't know how I'll leave you again." Harry says softly, and Louis feels his chest tighten.__

He doesn't know why he doesn't just jump for the opportunity and say it right then and there, but he doesn't. He just nods and cuddles against Harry's chest without another word.

-

He's walking in downtown when he sees it, the US NAVY shirt in one of the many guns and ammo stores' window. Louis stops and stares at it for at least five minutes before he sighs, walking in, unable to stop himself from wincing as the doorbell chimes, and buys two. 

Honestly, he doesn't mean to end up with US NAVY and American flag stickers on his laptop and back windshield, but he does.

He even has a keychain.

-

It's the third time Harry's leaving, and Louis doesn't think he can control himself anymore. They're supposed to be at the airport in an hour, but Louis can't bring himself to get out of the shower. He's sitting against the cold tile, his knees folded against his chest, and the water's still running. He doesn't know if he's stopped crying or not, but that's part of the reason he'd left the shower on, anyways.

There's a knock against the door that makes Louis jump. "Lou? You okay in there?" Harry asks, not sounding too worried yet.

Louis clears his throat and scrambles to get up and turn the water off. "Yeah, just give me a second!" How he manages not to slip while running to get a towel is beyond him, really.

Harry's still standing in the doorway when Louis opens it, already in uniform, and Louis wants to throw up. "It's not like you to lock the door." Harry says, grabbing Louis' neck and kissing his forehead despite the fact that he's still wet.

"Sorry," Louis mumbles before walking past Harry and going to find clothes. He knows he's frowning without having to look back.

But Harry doesn't say anything, he just sits on the edge of the bed and waits for Louis to get dressed. He watches as Louis runs the towel through his hair a few more times, dropping it in the hamper before looking at Harry, finally.

"We should, uh, go, probably." Louis says, and he tries to keep his voice level, he really does. But he fails, and his lip is trembling before he even notices.

"Lou," Harry says softly, standing up too. He tries to grab Louis' hand, but he just pulls it away and wipes his eyes.

"Don't." Louis says stonily, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. "Your mum and Gemma are probably waiting."

"You're not doing this." Harry says sternly, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Yes, I am. You're going to miss your flight. Let's go." Louis says, giving Harry a quick look before grabbing his keys and walking out of the room. Harry just sighs, because there's nothing left to do.

The airport is just as cold as Louis remembers it, and they're not even out of the car yet.

"I love you," Louis blurts out, just as Harry goes to open the door, and it just hangs there.

"Damn it," Harry curses, running a hand over his face.

"Well, that's one way to respond to it," Louis says darkly and gets out of the car, slamming the door behind him. He's already halfway to the terminal when Harry grabs his wrist and pulls him into his chest roughly, holding him there with one hand.

"I love you too, Louis. I love you so much." Harry breathes, and Louis doesn't want to start crying again, but he does.

"Please don't leave me again, Harry, oh god, I can't--I need you I can't do this again, not again, please." Louis sobs, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist tighter, as if that will keep him there.

"I have to." Harry whispers, kissing Louis' forehead. "I have to."

Louis just takes a shaky breath and nods, getting on his toes to kiss Harry one last time. "I know. I love you, be safe, okay?"

"I always am."

-

Louis wants to say he hates Harry for serving a fourth tour, but he doesn't. He just kisses him goodbye in the airport, tells him to be safe, and sucks it up.

The sun's white hot and shining directly into Harry's eyes as he walks third from the front. They're just going back to camp with the haul of weapons they discovered at the village over, and nothing's supposed to happen. But it does, and he gets three rounds out before he feels the bullets hit twice in his chest, and then everything goes black.

_"Have you thought about what you're going to do when you're done?" Louis asks, running his fingers over Harry's hipbone lightly. ___

_"Yeah," Harry nods, catching Louis' hand in his and lacing their fingers together. "I'm going to come back and never leave you ever again. I'm going to marry you, and we're going to get an actual house somewhere in the suburbs." ___

_"We're getting married?" Louis says softly, and Harry looks over at him. ___

_He nods and Louis blushes. "And then we'll have kids and maybe a dog, and they're going to have the strangest accents, British mixed with Southern," Harry laughs at himself a little there. ___

_"Which last name are we taking? Because I think hyphenating it it quite a mouthful." Louis says, sitting up so that Harry's head is on his thigh. ___

_"I've always wanted yours." Harry admits quietly, and Louis' eyes widen. ___

_"Always?" ___

_"Yeah, always." ___

Harry's screaming before he even knows he's awake, and the pain in his right shoulder has intensified by at least ten hundred. He knows he's not alone in the truck, or plane, maybe, he can't discern yet. There's someone putting pressure on the wounds, and there's an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. "Louis," He says, and it comes out muffled.

That's when one of the other people in the vehicle comes into his line of sight to lift the mask up. "Louis," Harry repeats, and then he's gone again.

_He's been sitting in the realtor's office for forty five minutes, and his leg is bouncing nearly out of control. How hard is it to get the keys to a vacant apartment, geez. The little bell on the door rings, and Harry whips around to look at who has walked in, hoping for it to be the lady with a tight bun that talked to him all those minutes ago, but it's not. It's even more surprising. ___

_The man walks over to the desk, says a few words and gets handed a clipboard to fill out before sitting down across from Harry. "We went to highschool together." Harry blurts, and the man looks up at him. He stares blankly for a few seconds before his eyes widen in realization. ___

_"Harry, right?" He asks, pointing at Harry with his pen, and he nods. "Shit, I thought you moved?" ___

_Harry tries not to smile as he shakes his head and uncrosses his legs, because he hasn't spoken to this man--Louis--since he graduated high school, so. "Nah, I left for two years of college and then I came back." He says with a shrug and Louis nods understandingly. "Uh, when'd you get back?" ___

_Louis smiles at Harry. "Like two hours ago. I need a place ASAP, so here I am." Louis chuckles, and looks back at his clipboard. ___

_"You know, uh, it's gonna take forever for them to actually schedule a tour." Harry says, leaning forwards slightly, and Louis raises an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, but like, mine's today and I know it's a two room apartment so you could, uh, come with? If you want, I mean," Harry stutters, running a hand through his hair nervously. ___

_Louis sets the board aside and leans forwards, too. "Are you asking me to live with you?" ___

_Harry fish-mouths a few times. "Yes?" ___

_"How do you know I'm not some kind of psychopath?" ___

_Harry shrugs and sits back in his chair. "I'm usually a pretty good judge of character. And hey, if we got on well during school," Harry just shrugs. "Unless you want to be homeless until they give you an appointment." ___

_Louis sighs and looks at the clipboard, and then back at Harry. "Alright," ___

He's in an OR when he comes-to again, and there's a bright light above him. The pain has lessened, or maybe he's just gotten used to it. There's a lady standing to the left of him, she's saying something that sounds like she's asking him to count backwards, but the only thing he can get his mouth to say is, "Louis,"

_"Babe," Louis says, poking at Harry's ribs softly. He gets a soft grunt in reply, and it's seconds before Harry's rolling over and Louis feels crushed under him, but it's okay. "Nice one," Louis mutters, but he smiles through it anyways, and squeezes his hip. "Anyway, remember when you said we were going to have kids?" ___

_"Of course my love," Harry mumbles into Louis' neck, and he can't help the fuzzy feeling that spreads down to his toes with that. ___

_"Are you planning on knocking me up, or do you want me to?" Louis says it really fast, like he always does when he's nervous. Harry props himself up on his elbows, and looks down. ___

_Louis feels himself blushing as Harry kisses his nose softly. "Both." Louis smiles and Harry kisses his cheek, and shimmies his way down between Louis' legs and puts his hands on Louis' hips. "I think you'd look very cute." Harry says, placing a kiss under Louis' bellybutton, and neither of them miss the way his skin goosebumps afterwards. ___

_"So would you, you know. The laurels would like, go perfectly with it." Louis says, smiling at the thought. ___

_Harry blushes a little and pinches Louis' hips before sitting up. "I love you so much," ___

_"I love you most," ___

There's a dull beeping somewhere in the room when Harry wakes up. The pain in his right shoulder has been reduced to a dull throb, but still uncomfortable. He tries to sit up, but his body still feels heavy, so he just sighs and closes his eyes again.

"Baby?" He hears, and Harry's eyes fly wide open.

"Lou?" Harry says, his voice cracking a bit as he turns his head. He feels hands on his cheeks before he can actually process what's happening, and a kiss on his forehead. "Hi," Harry whispers, and he hears Louis laugh a little.

He sits on the edge of the bed, up close to Harry's leg and laces their fingers together. "I let you out of my sight and you get yourself shot," It's obvious Louis was trying to make a joke, but his eyes start watering, and he has to look away for a few seconds.

Harry smiles a little and squeezes Louis' fingers. "Where are we?"

"Germany," Louis says softly, and Harry's eyes widen. "I'm not even supposed to be here, technically. But two men in uniform showed up at our door and I-" His eyes are watering, and he uses the back of his hand to wipe them away. "I might've told them that we were engaged, on accident, so." Louis says quickly, and Harry makes a little noise of surprise.

"Yeah," Louis clears his throat and looks over at where his coat is on one of the chairs. "You're kind of shit at hiding things, you know."

Harry feels himself blushing, and rolls his eyes. "I didn't want to propose if I was just going to leave again," He mumbles, and Louis sighs.

"I know,"

"So will you marry me?" Harry says, blinking up at Louis expectantly, and watches as Louis rolls his eyes and lifts Harry's knuckles up to his lips.

"Yes, but you have to ask again once you're better." Louis sniffles proudly, and Harry can't help but laugh.

"I will, I promise." Harry says softly, and goes to touch Louis' face, but finds his arm stuck in a sling, and sighs. "Go put it on then."

"But-"

"I really want to see it on you, please?" Harry pouts, pushing out his bottom lip in the way he knows will get Louis to do anything (literally, anything), and he just rolls his eyes before standing up and pulling the small box out of his coat. Harry uses his good hand to open it and take the ring out, motioning for Louis to hold his hand out. "I love you always, and for ever." Harry says once the ring is sitting proudly on Louis' finger.

Louis smiles quietly and looks down at his hand for a little. "I love you more than that." He still doesn't look up, instead he runs his fingers over the rose on Harry's arm for a while. "I've always through this was a very good representation of you. Beautiful, but capable of protecting yourself." Louis murmurs, and glances up at Harry's eyes. He pushes up his own left sleeve and shows Harry the dagger (they used to always joke about how they unknowingly got couple tattoos, but it stopped being a joke when they were actually a couple). "I think this rose has already been taken care of though, yeah?"

**Author's Note:**

> Title from: This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race//Fall Out Boy  
> this just kind of happened, so you know, bear with it.


End file.
